I felt it necessary to be honest about how I’m REALLY feeling today. I LOVE Halloween it’s my favorite Holiday but today I don’t feel excited or happy. I honestly just feel “BLEH” that’s the only word I could find to accurately describe how I’m feeling.
Poor mental health never takes a break. Overwhelming feelings of sadness or just general disinterest are an everyday thing for me and many others and it doesn’t take a break just because the Holiday’s arrive.
I think it’s important to address this right now because a lot of people tend to get even more frustrated with people like me around the Holiday season. You typically hear things like …
“So what are your plans”
“Why the long face”
“It’s *Insert Holiday here* Be happy!”
“What’s going on, why are you upset?”
I wanted to be honest about what I would most likely spend my Halloween doing.
It’ll go a little something like this…
Take care of my son, while simultaneously being frustrated that I can’t dress him up and take him out to trick or treat because it’s too hot where I live, my husband has to work, and my son has learned how to say “NO” and run away from me every chance he gets.
So I’ll most likely end up at home watching cartoons… alone. I’ll feed my son, bathe him and put him to sleep like usual.
Then I’ll probably snuggle up on the couch put on a scary movie on while I scroll through Instagram looking at everyones Halloween pictures from the weekend. Tweet “Happy Halloween” to everyone and go to bed.
It won’t be fun and sadly I won’t enjoy it.
I know it’s not fun to read posts like these but I feel like the internet is so curated to make it seem like everyone is having so much fun. People like me see that and wish there was someone we could relate to that shared what they REALLY feel. That’s why I wrote this.
I realize not everyone out there is a mom or wife, but I do know there are other people out there who have few friends, distant relatives, little money or just a general disinterest in being around other people and today like every other Holiday won’t be as great for those people.
I just want other who are dealing with anxiety or depression to know they are not alone. I know how it feels to always be trapped inside of your mind and I understand that even on days you really want to let loose and have fun it’s extremely difficult.
So if you find yourself on your couch, numb watching Netflix tonight alone. Just know I’ll be doing the same exact thing.
You’re not alone.
For the rest of you.