Toxic: Recognizing Toxic Traits in Yourself


Recently I’ve been in the depths of a self-care/self-healing journey. One aspect of that involves taking a step back to reflect, look in the mirror, and dig deep into what I want and who I am. This is not always a fun process, in fact, it’s far from.

If you’re in the middle of this process yourself then you know just as well as I do that discovering yourself is not always great. Sometimes you learn what you’re great at, other times you realize what you need to work on. That’s where I’m at.

In recent months I’ve come to realize that I can be a toxic person. Can be, doesn’t mean that’s who I am, but it is a part of myself that I need to work on. I came to this realization after separating from my husband and starting to form new relationships. I learned I can be selfish, I struggle to respect other’s boundaries, and I can be compulsive. Not good things to learn about yourself but important. Let me tell you why:

Learning about your toxic traits gives you an opportunity to grow

This is a learning process. The more circumstances show you who you really are, and the more you accept it, the more you grow. Acknowledging that you have toxic traits help you begin the process of correcting them. Without that acknowledgment, nothing changes.

Accepting the bad parts of yourself is self-love

Learning about the negative parts of yourself and accepting them is a part of the journey. You must recognize that you are human above everything and you will make mistakes. Learning to love the bad parts of yourself makes it all the more easier to accept and love the good parts of yourself as well.

Change is possible

Once you’ve accepted that these traits are there you can begin the hard work of correcting them. It doesn’t happen overnight but with time, you can become the highest version of yourself. That doesn’t mean these things will completely vanish, it just means you’ll be aware enough to recognize when you’re displaying them.

Personally, recognizing my toxic traits has been a good thing for me. I feel better about myself knowing that I’m self-aware and that I’m taking steps to better myself. For me, it’s been about addressing past trauma and recognizing how my past experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. It may be that for you as well, or maybe not. Regardless, learning to accept ALL of who you are is worth it.


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